Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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