I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
