Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
