New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
