Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is Oprah even human
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am available for nakedness
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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