Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize