Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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