I am midnight drunk by noon
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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