birth control should be required to get into college
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
