What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize