U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
