It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
