I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and she was petting her beer can
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
