well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
