Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
