my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
