Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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