he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
