A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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