Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
