you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
