We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
