Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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