a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
