at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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