I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
