One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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