I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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