i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
