i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
