And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
