Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
