you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
