Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
