I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
