I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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