Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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