so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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