i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
