dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize