That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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