my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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