if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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