bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
