I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
