am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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