What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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