Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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