I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
