i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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