My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
