I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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