they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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