I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i permit you to call me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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