it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
