Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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