i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
