I can tuck mytits in my pants
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
