i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
