i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
