Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
