We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
